New Year's Eve and it's hard to believe
another zodiac has gone around.

While you drank yourself high on hoping
and watched the ceiling spin from the ground.

Counting down from ten it's time
to make your annual prayer.

Secret santa in the sky
when will I get my share?

Then you tell yourself
what you want to hear.

Cause you have to believe.

This will be my year.

This will be my year...Semisonic


Go Ahead Punk: E-Mail Little Squaw @ squawpunch@hotmail.com

AIM: gimletgurl7 (Remember when she used to be here?)

Saturday, January 03, 2004

Please don't hate me because I am a snob...blushing bunny...cabbage patch kids and bluegrass music...


Okay, now I have another random comment. The wood stove (one word or two?) makes the house mind numbingly sleep inducing. I feel like curling up and never getting up again. Wood heat = Sluggish Squaw

So yesterday was the conclusion of a suspenseful wedding drama. I got up and drove to the place to get my hair done. In the car I inserted three (3) new CD's...REM "Green", The Replacements "Tim" and the ELO Greatest Hits album.

What was the first song to play? "Evil Woman" Which was quite fitting given what fate had been determined for my by the blushing bride.

I arrived at the hair place which is a small room carved out of the house of one of my former childhood friends. The kind of friend you're attached at the hip with at the age of 7 and then as the sands of time shift your tastes change and you eventually fall in with the crowd that fill the voids within your own nooks and crannies. The funny thing is that I was thinking of this person (with whom I had not spoken to in probably ten or so years...she's a year younger than me school wise but I was the youngest in my class and by anyone else's calculations should have been in the class below me)...I've been thinking of her lately because I've been listening to the soundtrack of "Wicked" (a new Broadway play based on the book "Wicked...The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West"...by Gregory MacGuire...we saw it on Halloween for my birthday...I love his books and the play had flying monkeys!!!)

Anyway one of the songs reminds me of a song that I used to sing with this former childhood friend. Okay now prepare to throw eggs and such...it was a Cabbage Patch Kid's song. Yup, lyrics like, "Here we are Rainy, stuck in this old coal mine...nothing more that we do...it feels like a long long long time...oh, there's no one here to guide us you and me...oh I wish that we could fly away...oh, Rainy." "Simple Sadie, I know what you mean. I've felt the same way too...I wanna get back home again just as much as you. Oh there's no one here to guide us but we have the strength inside us,..Simple Sadie." "Oh Rainy!" In unison..."I guess it's up to you and me!...We've got to get back to the cabbage patch to get back home again...there'll be laughter in the cabbage patch again..."

Why I remember that song AND the tune some 21 year's later is beyond me...so I end up driving down her driveway which was covered in ice (a general liability for any business)...I walk into the shop and there sits one sister of the bride, two of the bride's college friends and the mother of the bride. All of whom thought that I was early. Whatever...I was right on time. With nowhere to sit. The room was like a very large walk-in closet with a sink, curling irons, a hairdryer that you sit under and Enya playing...Everyone was complaining about the dresses!!! Then I was told, "Oh well we thought that your dress was fine because we hadn't heard from you..." Ummm, okay. Was I supposed to call the bride and bitch? Nope that's was all my friends and cohorts are for, bitching and sympathizing.

Beauty shops are where all the laundry gets hung out to dry. The bride and her mother in-law, sister in-law, sister in-law's daughter and the bride's other sister (currently living in Cali) show up and the room was crammed full.

General Overview of Beauty Shop Activity:
Everyone discussed my apparently infamous "poker straight hair" which can't hold a curl and how much "darker" it was since I was younger. The darker thing makes me want to punch people in the nose. I think it's rude. I should respond with "Oh, I see you still use bleach." I know for a fact that I was the only one in the room with "virgin" hair. Back to straight...I told them the best bet was to curl it and tease the hell out of it until I looked like I had a Texas debutante fright wig on which is what was done. I had my hair pulled back in a twist with what I was told were "unstructured" curls that were pinned to keep their shape. She did a very good job.

The bride forced me to have "sparkles" sprayed into my hair. ICK ICK ICK!!!

Had a rousing discussion with the Groom's mother regarding the Catholic church and disagreed with her regarding the "new age" kind of structure she seems to favor. I am all about kicking it old school.

Did the math to figure out that the Groom's sister must have had her daughter when she was about 17 or so. I thought they were sisters. God Bless her. She's aging very well.

Almost passed out when the middle sister (living in Cali) showed up because I haven't seen her in years and she's so California mellow now it's crazy. It made my skin itch. But I knew her true self would come out eventually I saw her snap a couple of times later in the day. Plus she was talking about getting wasted the whole day...mind you she has two kids now (four and 1 year and change) and Gilly says that her husband looks like a "California Sex Lawyer"...I love it when he re-purposes Fountains of Wayne lyrics!

Told the hairdresser about me thinking about her in the car because that's the kind of thing I would like to hear. She thought that it was hysterical that I could remember the words to that song.

We all had to pay for our own hair which in bridal etiquette is a major faux pas and I was the only one to tip.

Ended up driving the bride back to her house. Which made her the second bride in veil that the Pathfinder has seen (me being the first)...very funny.

We got to her house and all hell had broken loose. Kids and photographers and dresses and make-up all about.

I wasn't too impressed with the fact that no pictures were taken with the bridal party "prepping" the bride etc...but I just kept out of the way.

All the girls were still squawking about the dresses. And realizing that I sound very bitchy at this point, but the money I paid to fix the dress was more than worth it. I think mine had the best fit.

Random Wedding Comments:
I was the only one with dyed shoes/matching shoes...one girl had knee-high rounded toe chunky toed boots (Middle sister-California girl), one had black elasticy things, one had navy elasticy things, one had matching ballet slippers (literally slippers youngest sister Maid of Honor) which was the best match...

We roll out to the church...all sorts of mayhem waiting to go in...I swear I have never seen this kind of thing...the flowers were cute a kind of magic wandy thingy...you had to see it...I kept tapping people on the head and saying, "Hark, I am the fairy pixie come listen to my tale..."Lots of screaming kids! UGH...I had to put the Cali Sister's daughter on my lap while she did a reading...that was interesting...the church was freezing because the boiler had broken the night before...when the formal pictures were taken post wedding we were only in TWO...count 'em TWO which means I spent all that money on a dress for TWO pictures...we waited forever which is what you do at those kind of things...I was excited because the organ player was one of my friend's moms who is also the woman who used to play the piano for all of our school recitals all the way back to kindergarten. It was nice to see her.

Oh, yes...I also found out that the priest made some comment about SHU when the bride told him that one of her girls had gone there...I wasn't there for that but I wanted to corner him and introduce myself as the SHU girl and ask him if he had ever studied in Rome, etc...like our priest had. Sorry but I am fiercely fiercely loyal and I don't take kindly to slander. I wanted to pull Gil on that as well, because he's VERY good at that sort of thing.

Anyway...post pictures we tromp across the courtyard (in the snow) to the reception but we can't go upstairs because we have to wait for the bride and groom which took about 20 minutes and we were all so hungry and cold...we all get lined up and we get announced and it was all very disorganized and not in a cute organic way but in a crazy, who let the loons out way...and then there was no table reserved for us so we had to elbow our way in...and poor Gilly was floating around and I told him to find my other friend who was there that he knew and the three of us ended up laughing our asses off all night at the absurdity of it all.

I am so snooty and metropolitan now it makes my head hurt, ache and want to split down the center.

I am sorry for being so mean. I wish that I wasn't. Feel free to think less of me. I'll tell you one thing though...don't think I am not thankful to be as fortunate as I am. I would have died if I had remained in that area. DIED. Shriveled up, become bitter and melted away.

I've worked hard to even have the chance to be considered "metropolitan".

Everything that the groom cooked was delicious. The wedding cake (he made) was GORGEOUS...it was a funny funny reception.

The DJ was horrible beyond belief...we requested ONE song. ONE song. This was after he had played, "Back in Black", "Cotton Eyed Joe" (the dance version and the blue grass original), and the "Chicken Dance". We requested "Hey Ya" by Outkast and he said and I quote, "I don't think that this crowd is up to that." Again I almost lost it. I was going to march up there and say, "Hello. I work for *** and I am here to revoke your DJ License." As he protested...I would say, "Yes, that's very nice. Now hand me the microphone or I'll have to use my stun gun." And that would be that. I wish that song was around when we got married. Maybe I should have requested, "Milk Shake"???

And to think I was impressed when I first saw that he was using an IBook.

Cali Sister showed her true colors by getting smashed and saying the kind of inappropriate things she used to say when we were friends...telling me how her husband and she love Korn but he won't go to concerts now that he can't use acid...etc...actually she told me that in the bathroom when we were getting ready and I don't know if was supposed to impress me or what. For the record, acid never impressed me, never ever ever ever...

Okay, "Blushing Bunny"...apparently the Bride's Grandmother makes this for all the family events. It's very well known in their circle. This is a VERY VERY large Irish family. Lots and lots of kids this woman had. We tried it and then I got the recipe from her. Let's preface this by saying that our theory that the bunny is the key to having all those kids and surviving...

Recipe:
1 quart of gin
1 quart of pineapple juice
1 quart of grape juice
1 large jar of maraschino cherries (with juice)

It tastes like rocket fuel. She invited me to come over someday and drink some with her. Oh my goodness!

What struck Gil most about the wedding? The disorganization. What did he like most? It was a full mass.

I enjoyed hanging out with some of my old friends and their parents catching up. What struck me the most?

It was the wedding I never had.
posted by JustKeepMum on 5:31 PM