New Year's Eve and it's hard to believe
another zodiac has gone around.

While you drank yourself high on hoping
and watched the ceiling spin from the ground.

Counting down from ten it's time
to make your annual prayer.

Secret santa in the sky
when will I get my share?

Then you tell yourself
what you want to hear.

Cause you have to believe.

This will be my year.

This will be my year...Semisonic


Go Ahead Punk: E-Mail Little Squaw @ squawpunch@hotmail.com

AIM: gimletgurl7 (Remember when she used to be here?)

Monday, January 19, 2004

"I like to wear clean socks. That's what it is. That's what it comes down to." - Gil regarding why he felt better having taken a shower after I told him it's all about having clean hair for me.

Anyway...P. Rico...and the kind of life my job allows (or forces) me to lead. I'll make this brief 'cause nobody like to read about what someone did in a much warmer place when they are in a place that's ridiculously cold.

So I shall commence...I got up on Monday @ 3:30AM. The car arrived. I stepped outside to see that the ground was covered in a light dusting of snow. I was happy that I had on platform flip-flops as opposed to low riders. Got in the car. Got to the airport in 45 minutes give or take. Dragged my two HUGE bags to the counter.

Now the counter to P. Rico always has a huge line but apparently the majority of the people do not have credit cards and thus cannot use the e-ticket self check in. I check myself in. My bags get weighed. Each came in under 70 lbs. YIPPEE!!! And I had a pretty good seat.

Strange thing. Someone left a bag on the weighing thingy before I got there. So I tell the guy that I have two bags and he thinks that bag is one of mine. I point out that it isn't and he looks worried. I have a feeling that someone's luggage never made it to P.Rico. Either that or someone's bomb never made it onto the plane thank goodness.

The flight was uneventful other than the yenta sitting next to me who looked and sounded about 50 years old but upon further inspection I tagged at no more than 40 or so. It just goes to show you that it's all about your attitude.

Dozed through "Once Upon A Time In Mexico." Selma Hayek is a very attractive woman. Big eyebrows and annoying accent and all.

Get off the plane. Mucho muggy. Wait for bags. Of course the bag stuffed with work stuff comes off first. I think to myself, "Of course MY bag would get lost." But eventually that came off as well.

After having been dragged all over hell and creation with two of my co-workers our driver finds the van. We're at the Ritz in less than ten minutes.

I refuse to get all greased up or rather to put a bathing suit on. So here was my trick. I had very very very cute girly boyshorts as my unmentionables. So I pull on a very cute miniskirt cover up, leave my "Me So Thorny" t-shirt on, pull on my Garbo hats and shades and with one coat of sunblock on my face, arms and legs, "VOILA!" all prepped for poolside.

Later, I went up to A.C.'s room to check out her wardrobe and take her a brush. Then she came down to my room and I showed her my wardrobe. Having decided what we were going to wear each night was a huge relief and kind of like being in college again.

Later that night we go to the "opening" cocktail hour which meant mixing with National Ad Sales as well. Lots and lots and lots of very tall and thin people with girls heavy on the blonde.

My lack of specs (as all the hugging requires that I wear contacts for fear of smudging) and the new bangs got rave reviews from all of my far flung co-workers as did my very Greco Roman wrap top.

Hustle in for the big show. So we sit behind the COO or something like that who turns out to be a bit of a prude.

Things that happen:
Dave Chappelle performs.
Cliff from Cheers appears. He looks great! And he was later spotted with a hooker like girlfriend.
Marsha from the Brady Bunch is there as well and used the word "Bitch"
At least two people get hit over the head with "champagne" bottles. I so wish I had the chance to break one of those fake bottles. How cool is that?

Missy Elliot performs for the whitest crowd in creation.

Dinner poolside. Lots and lots of people getting tanked. Lovely ocean breeze and a chance to chat with some very nice co-workers.

Back to my room to find the room drop which included lots off cool treats which the various channels leave to schmooze us. Lots more stuff to lug home.

Tuesday...7AM up...meetings until 1PM or so...calls to work until 2:30PM or such...lunch by the pool. Nap. Dinner. Dinner at a roadside barish restaurant that smells like dog and through which a cat is racing about. ICK ICK ICK. La Secta (s?) performs. This band sells out stadiums and they're playing to a group of very white white people. Then came the limbo dancers! FIRE! Girls wearing crazy ruffled shirts AND pantyhose. There are so many things wrong with that I can't even start...back to the hotel...time well spent in the casino...I am not a gambler...it's slots for me baby...bed by 2AM

Wednesday...7AM up...meeting...power outage for the whole hotel during the meeting...a big caboom and all the New Yorkers want to dive under the tables in fear. Very rational in my book.

Ohhhh, and then the lead singer of Squeeze sang "Tempted" and "Black Coffee in Bed" accoustic. His voice is still very much intact.

Same afternoon except sitting by the pool looking at a penis that some how made it into US Weekly...Tee hee...massage...barely able to stand up straight afterward.

Funniest spa moment...sitting with three females in robes and the one male in the room is squirming uncomforably in his robe which he declared, "Was way too short and it was rather uncomfortable to be sitting in a chair surrounded by his female co-workers..." Score one for the women's movement!

Dinner that night was at a converted convent where they used to film the Flying Nun...strangest declaration of the evening made by a GM? "I feel kind of strange standing where the alter used to be in a Catholic church considering that my wife is Jewish and that I am a practicing agnostic..." OKAY, now how can you be a "practicing" agnostic? Last time I checked agnostics generally agree that they don't know if there is or isn't a God. Pretty convenient though I'd guess that point shifts as soon as something bad happens and you need someone to turn to.

Strangest guest at the party short of Glen Tilbrook? Joe Schmoe. So A.C. had to wrangle him and I ended up turning Columbo on his ass and now I know ever so much about him. He's very sincere. However, he's also very naive. When I finally asked him what he wanted to do now that the show was over he told me go into entertainment. And I patted his knee and said, "Then I hope that you get exactly what you want." And then he accused me of being patronizing which for the record I was not. I really do hope that he gets what he wants, though I'd guess that along the way what he "thinks" he wants and what he "really" wants are probably going to change. HARUMPH. He has a crush on one of the coordinators now. He kept saying things like, "My girlfriend would not want me to hang out with you guys." And I think he's a bit wimpy 'cause...a happy/mature man doesn't put it out there that given the opportunity he may behave badly. He either does the deed or he walks away from the situation. This guy was just waiting for his chance. We had been "warned" so it was off his shoulders at that point.

We went to an afterhours thingy which involved lots of drinks and shots. Let's start off by saying I was not drunk. My finest moment was making good on the new "stripper" bars which were installed. They weren't there last year and I did a couple of Motley Crew video moves. A.C. said she's going to buy me a bar for my birthday and I said, "No you'd be buying Gilly one." :) I saw a lot of married men acting suspiciously gay and A.C. and I ended up in a car around 2AM.

Thursday...up at morning at 8AM YAY and on a plane by 1:30PM after sneeking into the Admirals Club with a GM and a couple of SVP's.

Home to cold cold cold and Gilly. YAY. YIPPEE. HURRAH.

Back to the regularly scheduled Squaw ranting...






posted by JustKeepMum on 5:16 PM