New Year's Eve and it's hard to believe
another zodiac has gone around.

While you drank yourself high on hoping
and watched the ceiling spin from the ground.

Counting down from ten it's time
to make your annual prayer.

Secret santa in the sky
when will I get my share?

Then you tell yourself
what you want to hear.

Cause you have to believe.

This will be my year.

This will be my year...Semisonic


Go Ahead Punk: E-Mail Little Squaw @ squawpunch@hotmail.com

AIM: gimletgurl7 (Remember when she used to be here?)

Friday, December 19, 2003

Okay so I really should be in bed. I really am very tired. But I just got off the phone with a friend which during which I brought up an interesting thing I found today. She and I were talking about underwear. It's a thing with women. It's one of those things you can never have enough of (like lipgloss or cotton balls) and then one day you look and you have drawers and drawers of lipgloss of all the same shade. Underwear is like that. You keep finding cute versions but at the end of the day you have your tried and true style. The same applies to bras. Especially if you have a larger chest. I mean cute bras for a girl with a larger chest are a pain in the ass to find. Unless of course you have implants and weigh twelve pounds or if you don't mind wearing something that your grandma is currently sporting and has two inch wide straps... Implants are nifty if only because they do their own thing, plus if you're so skinny you don't have to worry about a tight fitting bra causing "back fat" and you really can't go wrong. Real breasts are different. They have their own agenda. Look at pinups from the 40's, 50's and early 60's. Have you ever noticed how their breasts have a conical shape? You know pointy like bullets? I'm convinced it's because of the bras they were stuffng themselves into. Those bras had no elasticity and were basically material with very strong seams. I know because I once had the opportunity to explore a store which had basically shut it's doors in the '60s and still had all it's original stock. During my exploration I found out a few things, a. people were way smaller then, b. vintage Chuck Taylors are exactly the same as new ones meaning there has been no brand advancement at all and c. I found all these boxes of bras which when opened formed the exact shape of the breasts of those pinup girls. I've been paranoid ever since. I want to keep mine nicely rounded and in no way pointy. If I had my way they'd be hiked up to my chin and I'd be able to balance a glass full of water on them with out spilling a drop. But mostly I want to look like one of those figureheads on the bow of ship. Preferably one spilling out of her corset. Pull your jaw back up. I spent 20 or so years avoiding the fact that I had a chest and well thank God I noticed because everyone probably thought I was fat because I wore shirts which hid the damn things. Searching for great bras is part of my reality and I've been reduced to tears of frustration on many a occasion. Feel free to go back and read my earlier post where I discussed underwires with Gert. I love love love them. They lift, separate and round everything out. Perfection.

But I got off topic...underwear...so today I am in Dwayne Reed with a friend and we make a beeline to the pharmacy register because the line is always shorter there. Now if you're familar with Dwayne Reed you know that the pharmacy counter is where all the action is. That's where you'll find the following things: Cold Eez and various cough drops, fertility tests, yeast infection medication, pregnancy tests, lubricants and a multitude of condoms. I have never seen so many condoms in my life! Flavored, variety pack, various sizes, etc...Now that I am married I have absolutely no shame looking at that stuff. Not that I ever really did. The shame is when you don't. But anyway we're waiting on line and I see a free standing display of...get this...antibacterial underwear! No joke...something about preventing odor etc...So I am hysterical laughing amoung all these geriatric types waiting for their meds and I say to my friend, "Okay, they're disposable too. Now don't tell me these aren't just for floozies who don't go home after a night out and need to change." Sorry that was judgmental but come on! Antibacterial??? Next to the yeast infection meds??? Okay now I almost bought a pair for Gert as a joke. SORRY GERT! I would have bought also pair for my mother in law (to go with candle I bought her last year for Christmas which I carried all the way back from Seattle and it was exposed when they searched my bag...a tall red candle of a man who looked a lot like an Oscar and had a wick coming out his penis...I think they're supposed to be used when your bitter and scorned. She's threatening to tell my kids someday but I assured her my kids would be fully aware of what kind of mom they had from a very young age...I've taught my mother in law a lot over the last six or so years...). Anyway...they were too funny. I am kicking myself that I didn't buy any since I won't be back in the city for two weeks and I can't even find them online.

That's my story.

I just set the TeVo to tape the Austin City Limits show with Fountains of Wayne tomorrow. Hear that? It's me breathing a sigh of relief. I predict a long and passionate relationship with our TeVo. I feel like a new and more empowered woman.

I am going to bed.
posted by JustKeepMum on 11:59 PM